The Five Year Old Demon
by Darkflower1
Summary: It is about Aragorn, he and the other fellowship people are in preschool. And please do not freak out, this fanfic is a hole lot of freaky nonsence


The Five year old demon by darkflower and fire flower  
this is a funny bunch of nonsence  
  
This is based on the characters from the lord of the ringd moveis.The fellowship, are not grown up,   
But are still in preschool  
  
Chapter One:Preschool  
  
A little girl by the name of Arwen stood by her father's feet, she was very shy. She watched  
Other little kids play. "Daddy, I down't want to be here."  
  
Her father bent down to her and said," Don't worry Arwen, you'll make some friends before you   
know it. Now, give me kiss, and'll see you later." And so Arwen kissed her father's cheek and  
Watched him leave.  
  
She had little braids in her hair, and wore a jean, suppendered dress, she carried a doll around.  
  
Slowly she moved around the room, and saw a little boy, he had dark hair, pulling the hair of  
a blonde little girl oops, I mean boy.Well he looks like a little girl!!!!  
  
"Ouch!!! Aragorn!!! Ok I give!I give!" The blonde gi...I mean boy screamed, like a girl.  
  
And the boy named Aragorn let the blondee by the name of Legolas go.  
  
Arwen was about to laugh, when a blonde girl came up to her," Hi, I'm Galadria.Whats your name." The little blonde girl asked. She wore a little  
white dress and carried a china doll around with her.  
  
"I'm Arwen.Want to be friends?" Arwen asked,  
  
"Ok" And so they went to play in a little play house," Hey!" Came a litle boy.  
  
"Let go of m...!" A little, baby sized kid screamed, as his head was slammed into the wall   
Of the play house.Did I mention that he had big hairy feet.  
  
"Mr. Frodo." Whine one of his friends.  
  
"Tell you little friends to shut their mouths." Ordered the bully, named Aragorn. Arwen looked   
out the play house window and as she had stuck her head out, Aragorn had looked up, and he saw   
the most lovely thing, sence his mother.  
  
They looked at eachother. Aragorn looked at Frodo, then let him go. He and Aren blushed.  
  
"Hi there." Said Arwen."  
  
"Amuwuww..."Aragorn as too wrapped up in looking at the beauty infront of him that he fainted  
  
"Hey, Arwen..what the.." Galadria began as she looked out the door and when she did open   
the door, she heard a thud. She looked around the corner of the door.Frodo was laying on the  
floor, his left leg was twitching.  
  
She rolled her eyes and looked over at a fainted Aragorn," Whoa! You killed him."  
  
"Oh, no." Arwen said then looked back down at Aragorn.  
  
The preschool teacher suddenly walked in, She was slim, and had long black  
hair, and wore a long jean suspendered dress. And her belly stuck out. She  
looked to be about five months pregnant.  
  
"Whose that?" Arwen asked.  
  
"Thats the teacher, we call her Bridget. She's nice." Galadria shrugged.  
  
The woman by the name of Bridget walked over to Frodo," What happened to you?" She asked.  
  
"She...ack...killed...sck...me..ungh.." He acked as though he was dying.  
  
"Oh, we can have none of that."Bridget said sarcastically."You must be Arwen?"   
  
Arwen knodded and said," Whats wrong with your belly?" He asked.  
  
Bridget bit her lower lip and said," Lets just say I didn't control myself when my boyfriend came into town.Anywho, welcome  
Arwen." She said and walked around the room, watching the kids play.  
  
Arwen bent down to Aragorn,she poked him with a little stick," Hey, are you alright?" She asked.  
  
Aragorn looked up at her," Just fine thanks."  
  
Arwen giggled," You're funny." Aragorn groaned lazly.  
  
" What?" Asked Arwen.  
  
Aragorn pointed to the doorway," See that?"  
  
Arwen followed Aragorn's pointed finger, she saw Bridget in the doorway, and there was a man with her, his hands on her waist.  
The man was bald, but looked young. He wore a future lookn' trench coat and a tight suit.*Hint hint*  
  
"So? What about it?" Arwen asked.  
  
"That guy is my friend, and him and outr so called teacher are sleeping together. I hate the thought. She and him have a baby  
expected too.It's sick.Eow!They're kissing!!!"  
  
Arwen sighed," That is so romantic. They are in love."  
  
"Thats girl stuff, it is grosse." Aragorn said in complete and utter discuss  
  
Arwen shook her head," You boys all the same! I like that." She sighed again.  
  
"You girls are all sick!!!" And he stormed up to Bridget and her boyfriend. Aragorn smacked the guy's leg really hard,   
getting his attention.  
  
"Ow! Aragorn! What the hell!" The guy stammred  
  
"Shinzon! She is a girl! They are all evil!" Aragorn growled through his clentched teeth.  
  
The guy named Shinzon rolled him eyes," here." he handed him a small brown bag," Your mom wanted me to being this to you."  
  
Aragorn ripped the bag from Shinzon'd hands," Dude, don't let the ladies see."  
  
"Really? In that case.." He gripped the bag back and held it in the air." I'll do it."  
  
" No! Man please! The girls can't see that I have a lunch packed!" Aragorn lept in the air trying to get his lunch back from Shinzon.  
  
Shinzon chuckled slightly and gve the lunch back to Aragorn." Sence I gave your lunch back, you have to leave me and Bridget   
alone."  
  
"Fine!" And Aragorn ripped the lunch from Shinzon's hands again and stromed off. When he turned back around, he saw   
Bridget being pushed right up against the wall as her and Shinzon made out, even worse then usual.   
  
"Sick." Aragorn thought.  
  
Arwen clentched her fists and said," It is not sick!!"  
  
Aragorn turned around," yeah it is."  
  
  
Chapter two:Pee Time During Nap Time  
  
At lunch all the kids ate at one long table. The preschool food was very sick. There was a little  
kid by the name of Gimle. He was a dawrf and already though a kid, he had a slight beard.  
  
He was a small thing, indeed but as strong as an ox.  
  
He towered over Frodo as the hobbit ate, he saw a slight shadow over him.  
He turned around and whatever food was in his mouth, dropped out   
of his mouth and as he went wide eyed.  
  
Gimle growled," You ate my lunch!!!"  
  
Frodo looked at the luch sac in front of him and turned it where it read: Gimle  
Frodo gupled and haned the lunch bag to the dawrf, slowly.  
  
Bimle looked through his lunch and stopped, then glared at Frodo," Where's my  
Twinke?!" He shouted.  
  
"ahhh, what twinke? I didn't see any twinke." He said, hidding the opened twinke behind his back.  
  
" Then what is that white crap on your hand?"  
  
Frodo looked at him ahd then quickly licked the cream from the twinke off his hands  
then he asked," What white crap?"  
  
At the other end of the table, Aragorn was busy flingging pudding with a spoon at a few hobbits  
The some in Legolas's hair.  
  
Legolas gripped his hair and looked over at Aragorn," Hey!That was not funny Aragorn!"  
  
Aragorn laughed hard.  
  
Arwen arose from her eat and went over to hi, a bowl of soup in hand.She dumped it in   
Aragorn's hair.  
  
"Woman!!!!" Aragorn yelled," You messed up my hair!!!!"  
  
"So what? you should not be throwing food like you are!!!So I did something about it!"  
  
Aragorn arose and now he stood face to face with Arwen," You want to go Woman?Come on  
right here right noW!!!!"  
  
Arwen lifted an eyebrow," You dare challenge me? You....human... thingie whatever you are."  
  
" Yeah I dare challenge you."  
  
Arwen didn't say anything, all she did was...BASH!!! Aragorn was smacked with her dollie.  
  
Arwen looked at her doll," She has a mind of her own people." She gestered to her doll.  
  
Aragorn rubbed his hurt cheek. Aragorn and Arwen sat down   
When their teacher came in.  
  
Aragorn glared at Awren, who stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
After lunch, they had nap time( Who the hell came up with that?)  
  
As everyone else slept, Aragorn and a couple of his friends, Wormtungue and Gimle, wondered  
around, and had these little dixi cups of hot water.  
  
And one then two poeple, awoke, in a wet banket.  
  
And then three then," What do you think you are doing?" Aragorn's wrist was gripped by   
Arwen's hand.  
  
"Ms. Bridget!!!" She screamed, waking up those who had not yet wet themeslves.  
  
The teacher came in," Yes, Arwen?"  
  
"He is making everyone pee in their blankets!See."  
  
She looked around and there were a bunch of crying little kids.  
  
She looked at Aragorn," We need to talk."  
  
"No! Number one! Your not my mommy! Number two you are my sister! You can't tell me what to do!"  
  
"Oh, no. How about we call mom."  
  
"NOOOO!Fine!" He walked into his sister's office.  
  
"So, what the hell were you and your little imp friends doing, making the oters wet themselves?"  
  
"I thought it was a funny idea at the time."Aragorn said, surpassing the erge to laugh.  
  
" Really? I'm not going to tell mom, nut you first have to, and and your friends, go clean  
up the pee messes from the others. Then you have to go apologize to everyone single  
one of the other kids."  
  
"But..but.."  
  
"No buts, unless we can get mom and dad on the phone and see what they think?"  
  
"NO! Alright!!!" He started mumbling crap as he left the office.  
  
  
Chapter three:Lets have a little chat with mom shall we?  
  
While everyone else played, Aragorn and his two other friends mopped.  
  
Arwen came up to him," Serves you right!"She said with her hands on her hips   
  
" Are you talking to me? Bacuse if you are, then GO AWAY!!!!"  
  
"Fine! I will. I was only going to say that I am sorry for dumping the soup on your   
head, but now. Screw you!" And she walked off.   
  
Frodo, did not know where he was walking and slipped on the floor," WHOA!!!"  
  
He hit his head, his best friend Sam bent over him and asked," Mr.Frodo are you alright?"  
  
"whasubeeess." And Frodo conked out.  
  
"Get lost! Beat it!" Aragorn said, and tripped Sam, and so that hobbit went unconsious.  
  
He saw his sister giving him the look," Ungh..sorry about that." He said to Sam and Frodo,  
though, they could not hear him.  
  
Before walking off, Aragorn smirked evily then reached in his pant pocket and brought out some  
dust, old twisler, then looking around, he slwoly bent down and shoved it fight up   
Frodo's nose. Then took off runnuing.  
  
Frodo sat up, itching his nose," Ooohh, a twisler." He clapped happly to hismelf, then ate it.  
  
Later, as the kids played outside on the equiptment, and Aragorn was shoving kids off the   
slide," Move." Some did mive, others fell and one was so close to getting a broken ankle.   
And so, here he is again, in the office of his dear older seventenn year old sister.  
  
"You are so dead!!!"  
  
"Yeah, whatever, so what if I hurt someone. Those little tumb suckers out there piss me  
off." Aragorn stated. as he was sitting in a chair, with his arms crossed over his chest  
  
"What your langauge! Or I swear on my chuld's grave that I will make sure that mom and dad  
know about this."  
  
"You swear on your child's grave? Are you like going to drowned it or something after you  
have it sis?"  
  
"NO!!You know I woun't."  
  
"Sure. You just want reason to opay Shinzon back for knocking you up.When you should   
have made him keep his pants up!!!"  
  
"That is it!!!You are in trouble." She get on the phone," Hey, mom, how are you doing?  
Thats cool, listen do you know what Aragorn did?"  
  
"No." Aragorn mouthed when Bridget looked behind her shoulder at him.  
  
"He nearly killed at kid, he made some of the others have a little accident,   
pulls hair, he tosses food. And he said and I qoute: You just   
want reason to opay Shinzon back for knocking you up.When you should   
have made him keep his pants up!!!"  
  
In the back ground you could hear shouting loudly from their mom to the two siblings.  
  
Bridget moved the phone from her ear," She sounds pissed" Was all she said to Aragorn.  
  
Fordo looks in the door and yells," Bbbuuuusstttteeedddd." And he took   
off running.  
  
  
I'm going to kill you! Get your ass back here hobbit! I'm gonna take a razor   
and shave your hairy feet!!!"Aragorn took off after Frodo.  
  
Frodo screamed as he ran from Aragorn and he was not watching where he was running and   
ran right into the opening door.   
  
Aragorn stopped and laughed," This your handy work?" Aragorn looked up.  
  
"Yeah, Shinzon it is."  
  
"It is a bad time, cause your sister looks pissed."  
  
"No,why would she be?" Aragorn tried not to laugh.  
  
"See you in three hours then?"  
  
"Yep." And Aragorn went over to where Legolas played with a few others."Hey blondee!"   
Legolas looked over," OH CRAP!!!" And he took off running. He ran right into the wall.  
  
Chapter four:Monkey Trouble.  
  
After Aragorn had laughed up a storm at the blacked out blondee, he drug him to a chair, took   
out his duck tape, then crept over to his sister's office door. He looked in the window,   
nothing different, just his sister making out with her boyfriend.  
  
So he silently opened the door and, sence the bag was by the door, he snatched it and laughed   
evily as he shut the door,   
  
Then he started to put make up on him. He dug through the purse, finding, black   
lipstick, black nail polish,some blush, and eyeliner. He had also found some   
earings.And a little packet thing that said:Trojin.  
  
"What the?" he asked to hismelf.  
  
And after putting the make up on he found some perfume and spayed some on legolas.  
  
  
"Wakee Wakee blondee." He said, slapping the elf slight on the cheek.  
  
When the elve's eyes opened, he saw a flash from a camera.  
  
"What...hell did you put on me!!!!"  
  
"mawaaaa."Aragorn laughed evily.  
  
"I'm, telling Bridget!!!"  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes and put duck tape around Legolas's mouth.  
  
Then took out a shapry pen. And wrote on his forhead," I'm a girl.and proud of it."  
  
"Why do you make me do this to you Legolas?" He asked then tapped the pen on Legolas's   
hed really hard and walked off. to cause more trouble.  
  
The next day...  
  
Bridget was forced to take Aragorn to the Zoo. He walked, out of boredem behind his sister  
and her boyfriend.  
  
He rolled his eyes, then saw the moneky cages. he got an evil idea.  
  
Without being noticed, Aragorn slipped away, and into the moneky's cage  
(do not asked me how)  
  
He got a monkey leash from the stoarage and, slowly walked towards a few monkeys," Come here  
monkey. Lookie I got a little banana for you. And he put them on the leash.  
  
"Are you behaving youself back there Arargorn?" Bridget asked when Aragorn caught up with them.  
  
"Yeah. Just fine."  
  
So the next day...  
  
"ARHHHHHHH." was heard by many of the little girls as some monkeys ran around   
the playroom.  
  
Tossing blocks around and hitting little kids with them.  
  
Aragorn stood on a table, laughing hard.  
  
"Destroy my prettys! Destory mawaaaa!"  
  
"My hair! He's in my hair!"A little girl screamed.  
  
As another kid cried when one monkey tossed food at them that it  
had retreived from a few lunch bags.  
  
And of course Bridget didn't know about this, only because she was a bit busy like every day  
with you know who.  
  
And so that left and ment that Aragorn could act rambunctoius.  
  
  
Chapter five:Zoo  
  
That same day, outside, Aragorn, his friends, and the monkeys rode around on   
tryciles, and gave the others tickets,"You! No running!!!"  
  
"Oh! three times Frodo! Now guess what?"  
  
"No, please not the..gluggle...." He was sprayed with a water gun   
in the mouth. And where is the teacher might you asked?  
  
Out to lunch while the sub is tied up in the broom closet, gaurded by a monkey.  
  
Aragorn wispered to a monkey" Go to the zoo ad get some of your friends to party  
with us."   
  
And so the monkey did. It came back with some friends.   
  
people screamed they were chased by all the animals in the zoo.  
  
"This is my kind of preschool." Stared Aragorn.  
  
He sat in his sister's office, chilln out, while he watched out the window as his master   
plan had worked.  
  
And just as it seemed that he day couldn't get any better, Kids were being thrown everywhere  
by primates.  
  
Just then..."ARAGORN!!!!"  
  
He turned around in the chair, and there stood his sister, and she looked pissed.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
  
"I was enjoying myself." He said.  
  
Shinzon looked around, his eyebrow lifted, as he lifted a boa off Bridget's desk, and placed it   
around his neck.  
  
"You were enjoying? huh? " Bridget asked.  
  
"Yep!!!"  
  
So now Aragorn was banned brom preshcool but that didn't atop him at all. By the time his  
sister got home from work, she saw that the house was trashed!!!  
  
There was ketsup smeared all over walls as well as mayo, mustered, and left   
over noddles.  
  
"I found these in the driveway." Shinzon said,.handing her some empty cans of spary paint.   
  
"What the.." She began, then ran into the kitchen, All over those walls had this written  
on it in black spary paint: Kiss my ass, you little wench, you are not the   
friggn' boss o' me!Yo and your raging hormonic boyfrined and that stupid unwanted  
kid!!!"  
  
And so, there he goes to milatary school.  
  
  
"Do you fund something funny magget!?"Yelled the cidet commander to Aragorn,  
  
"NO you stupid magget!" He ylled in formation  
  
"What you call me?"  
  
"I said I saw a rabbit sir!"  
  
"Don't try to be a little smart ass with me! Cause I will blow your manhood to the next  
world, magget!"  
  
"Sir yes sir!" Aragorn said then did the one fingered salute.  
  
"Why you little! Thats it! You are pealn' potoes after lights out!Now drop down and give my   
25!"  
  
"What the..No! Thats my sister's job!"  
  
"What the hell are you on about?"  
  
"Shut the hell up sir!"  
  
"I said drop down and give me 25 five push up magget!"  
  
"Oh, 25 push ups! I thought you ment 25 blo..."  
  
"Now!!!"  
  
He flips his off.  
  
  
Chapter six:  
  
After lights out, Aragorn snuck out, and tolit papered the cammander's cubin and tossed eggs and  
tomatoes, and wrote in sharpy marker," Hail The Taliaban."  
  
And he tried to drive off with a tank.  
  
the end....what the..oh yeah, he drove the tank a little ways, until he accidently  
hit the comander's cabin and woke him and everyone else up.  
  
"What the..OH MY GOD!!!" He screamed as he caught sight of his cabin.  
  
So the next day he found some bombs and smirked evily, after he was finished pealing the  
potatoes.  
  
And he blew up the militay school and walked out scott free, and so this was the tale   
of how one little five year old outsmarted everyone else.  
  
The End  
  
Maddie, this was dedicated to you. 


End file.
